Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Stupid Corey Haim Tribute Movie Review: Silver Bullet

Actors of note: Corey Haim (RIP), Gary Fucking Busey, The bad guy from Under Siege 2

Plot: A bunch of people in a small town get eaten and torn apart by some unknown person or thing. Corey Haim plays a crippled kid in a wheelchair who accidentally stumbles upon the culprit, who happens to be a werewolf. He shoots a firework into the beast's eye and after a brief investigation finds out that the werewolf is actually the town priest. The WerePriest harasses and attacks crippled Corey, who is having a hard time convincing his uncle (Gary FUCKING Busey) that this upstanding clergyman is trying to kill him. After Corey Haim finally convinces Mr. Busey of the truth, he has a silver bullet made and they prepare to confront the WerePriest.

Based on a Stephen King story.

Gore: We have pretty decent WerePriest on human violence. Decapitations, a brutal shredding of a pregnant lady, death by baseball bat bludgeoning, fireworks to the eyes, shootings, a guy's face gets ripped in half, and a wood plank impaling.

Boobs?: No. But who cares.

Werewolf effects rating: Being as any decent werewolf movie absolutely has to have a really cool transformation scene I feel that I must make a special comment here. The transformation scenes are decent, but not spectacular. Also, the WerePriest in his final state looks kind of like a small bear. It is definitely apparent it's just some guy in a suit. However, when Corey kills the fucker the transformation back to human is very cool. Two films take the werewolf prize and raised the bar as far as werewolf effects are concerned, The Howling and American Werewolf in London. This is passable though, and much better than the CGI shit we are subjected to now. I mean see the new Wolf Man if you need proof. Or that Underworld shit. Therefore the werewolf effects rating is a very acceptable 88%.

How awesome is Gary Busey?: Silly question. The best actor of his generation.

Bad Acting occurrence: The scene in the bar where the ill tempered gun shop owner and the fat deputy cop have an argument that leads them to square off like they're about to fight. Right before they're interrupted by a victim's distraught dad, they look like two 1920's style boxers. No one fights like that. Ever. Unless it was the 1920's or all the fist fights in Gangs of New York.

Nonsensical occurrence: Gary Busey's amazing ability to fashion a functional motorcycle out of a wheelchair and somehow this is completely legal. Also it seems that Corey Haim's parents in the movie think it's completely safe for him to have a wheelchair that can go faster than most Corvettes.

Case of poor logic: Why, if you know you are about to fight a werewolf or other supernatural beast, would you not be better prepared and make more bullets? What would have happened if the kid missed? Or he couldn't fish the silver bullet out of the grate? They would all be fucked wouldn't they. Gary Busey was busy getting smacked around by the WerePriest so its not like he was much help. You pretty much are risking your life on the assumption that you or someone else in the house will be able to kill a werewolf with one shot. Logic would therefore necessitate making more bullets.

In conclusion: This is a really good werewolf movie. For some reason, that is really hard to do. Especially these days in the CGI era. From the very first Wolf Man movie with Lon Chaney, the entire reason anyone sees a werewolf movie is to see a person turn into a wolf. That's it. Therefore, it is absolutely imperative that the werewolf effects not only be good, but done with practical effects and not CGI. Luckily, this movie was made before the present time so we don't have this issue. The acting is really good, and believable to a point. Stephen King wrote the screenplay so you should expect a decent plot. The death scenes are cool, Gary Busey is cool, the bad guy from Under Siege 2 is a good WerePriest, and I feel this is a fitting tribute to the recently departed Corey Haim. Plus I'd rather watch this then The Lost Boys.

Grade: 90%

RIP dude.

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